Why Men Don’t Resist Their Marginalization & Dehumanization by Feminism

Feminism first dehumanizes men by describing them as a uniform and faceless force (“patriarchy”, “oppressor”) rather than as the individual human beings they are, and on this premise it then demands their weakening, through their marginalization, and this “pushing aside” opens a gap into which a host of female human egocentric drives burst, that further use (and abuse) the male position to pose more demands, in all forming a deep male inferiority in the relations between the sexes in the West. Once feminism turned to male-dehumanization and incited women to join feminists in denouncing manhood and in openly demanding to marginalize men through restrictions and expectations that do not apply to women, men were trapped by feminism in a lose-lose conflict: if they react, they lose manhood, if they ignore, they lose humanhood. A few notes will make this conflict clearer.

Generally-speaking, all humans, including men and women, are psychologically centered around sexual realization, in all the different meanings of this notion. All humans have (or aspire to have) a healthy pride and confidence in their “sexual ego” – of a man in his manhood, and of a woman in her womanhood, which translates as their self-perception of some aptness in the eyes of the other sex. Every human being needs some level of “sex-pride” (a pride in one’s manhood or womanhood) to maintain mental well-being.

However, and these are the foundations for the psychological phenomenon of the feminist man, men are afraid of reacting to their dehumanization, marginalization and weakening because of a fear, and a well-founded one, of this erasing their sexual ego, and the reason that this fear is not at all unfounded is: women’s sexuality. Both sexes have a sexual ideal for the other sex – this is simply part of human sexuality – and the female one is that of an inexhaustible psychological resilience of men, a stability of a tree, which is desirable by women because it allows women emotional freedom – the man would function as an anchor. However this means that the thought that the man can be hurt by a woman, translates as sexual inaptness (if the man is not resilient to emotional blows form women then the woman would not have the anchor that would grant her emotional freedom – the branch could break when she swings). And so, men’s vulnerability to women’s actions and in particular to actions of women toward men that may be painful, is sexually repulsive to women (this is also the fundamental reason most women are antagonistic to the concept of men’s rights activism, the avoidance being first and foremost sexual; these are men who show vulnerability to women’s actions).

While none of these self-evident facts about men’s and women’s intricate sexual signals are explicit, all men and all women are implicitly aware of them and sensitive to them. This means that the feminist battering of men, puts men in a conflict: if they react to their marginalization and dehumanization, they will become unattractive to women – they will be demonstrating that they are truly hurt by women’s blows, they will lose their “sexual ego”, their manhood. If they remain silent, they will continue losing “humanhood”. Feminist women sensed this vulnerability in men and tapped into it. In exploitation of men’s normal human need for an intact “sexual ego”, to prevent men from reacting to their dehumanization feminists have been encouraging women to mock men who react to the dehumanization, with the term “fragile masculinity”. That is, to make the threat men fear, of losing the sexual ego due to women’s specific sexuality and its expectations, explicit.

In fact, if we examine what things will be labeled by the phrase “fragile masculinity”, these are the things that define humans as humans, women as well. A legitimacy for being angry and insulted in response to infidelity, not wanting to be overtly discriminated against, expecting to be treated with human dignity – all are things women demand to have as humans. Disqualifying for men the option to respond to the denial of human dignity by the label “fragile masculinity”, became one of the primary instruments for the dehumanization of men, further pushing them into the painful conflict between too impossible choices: remaining silent on being dehumanized, and losing humanhood, or resisting dehumanization and losing manhood. Feminism is using men’s human sexual existential realization drive against their humanhood drive.

The understandable emotional difficulty is the very reason so few men resist their cultural, social, institutional dehumanization by feminism.

The denial of men of their perpetually-growing inferiority, is the attempt to maintain a self-perception of an adequate man (adequate in the eyes of women), and this is the mechanism by which men got to be in such a low position in relation to women and in the relations with women. Almost all men choose not to lose manhood and ignore their dehumanization, because in all humans, sexual realization is existential. Only men who got so badly hurt that they feel “they have nothing left anymore to lose” react.

If you are a male feminist, you are having trouble facing the degree of dehumanization you as a man are at in the society you live in, and the understandable emotional pain and dissonance that the conflict feminism has put you in is what causes you to try and ignore what you’ve been experiencing.

I understand how painful it is, to realize the current state of affairs. But I promise you this: the sexes power relations are constructed of nothing more than mutual illusions – what men believe women believe, what men believe women believe that men believe, what women believe men believe, what women believe men believe that women believe, and the power relations can easily (and quickly) be reformed as a balance rather than domination and marginalization if enough men simply acknowledge a set of realities, about women, about men, and about what is their current balance. Yes, it seems frightening at first to acknowledge the current weakness of men, it would seem to any man as crashing his “sexual ego”, his attractiveness to women, his normal human manhood-pride, and feminists are always there to make women call him “fragile” to deter him from reaching the point of acknowledging his weakness. But all it takes is a large enough number of men reaching this point and the mutual illusions will collapse, and new ones could form. Yes, it is painful to acknowledge that your sex makes you weak and almost sub-human, that you are not entitled to human dignity, and that even naming the situation you are in makes you inadequate sexually, because women are sexually repulsed by a man’s vulnerability to women’s blows. But the pain is temporary and the acknowledgment is the only way that new balances can form and the painful reality changed.

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