Chapter Three: Mental Frame

Part 5: Don’t Argue with Women, Have Power & Choice

It is a mistake to argue with women. Arguments are all about words and women in our culture don’t match up words with actions and freely say things that don’t make sense and then deny that they don’t make sense. In short, they aren’t honest when trying to solve problems using discussion, negotiation and compromise. The reason they aren’t honest is because they are trying to be abusive and exploitative rather than having relationships based on mutual love and respect.

Instead, deal with women in the realm of behavior. Point to a behavior you don’t like and tell her to stop, or point out a missing behavior of hers and tell her to do it. Never discuss why you don’t like it or why you want her to do something. Get used to saying the word NO….a lot. And NEVER discuss things in terms of right and wrong (it’s enough that YOU want it). Always have a consequence lined up if she refuses, and ALWAYS come through with that consequence. Flakey girls get dumped, if you get my drift. This only works if you have her replacement waiting in the wings to take her place (your needs, not people’s expectations, are what’s important). Understand that, in our culture, ALL girls are flakey and need to be dumped sooner or later, so don’t hesitate to do so, or let them get away with anything. As this behavior among men becomes common (and it is), women’s flakiness will drop off dramatically.

She’s Lying

The problem here is that women lie about anything and everything….often for no reason at all. Most men, not being liars themselves, never consider that other people, particularly their women friends and loved ones, are liars. It takes getting burned, often several times, before a man wakes up to rule number one when dealing with women……don’t listen to anything they say, no matter how minor, because it’s a lie. That’s not enough though. It takes major education and rehabilitation before men even learn about rule number two (let alone, live it)…..you are the most important person in any relationship with women.

1) Who cares what they say. It’s either a lie or a manipulation and usually both. So don’t listen to it.

2) I am the only important person in my relationships (no matter the type) with women.

It’s important to understand the ”woman who is the expception” phenomena. You WILL run into women (probably many women) who seem to not be this way. You will be tempted to break rules 1 and 2. DON’T DO IT! Women are sociopaths….perfect actors. A great many of them are into the whole, “I’m different” thing. They absolutely are NOT. They are the most dangerous because you will think you’ve found the real thing, completely arrange your life, mind and soul around them and then get destroyed. For months or years, you will be so overwhelmingly overjoyed that (unlike all those other losers) you actually have love in your life from a woman who truly cares about you. This is the worst and most insidious of lies and once it is revealed, well, there’s nothing left. Falling for the “woman who is the exception”, is a good way to end up contemplating eating a gun. Don’t do that either. It is possible to have good relationships with women but only if you force it to be on your terms and understand that they are time limited. You enjoy them for as long as they last. Understand that they will be over, probably sooner, rather than later (so you want to leave at the first sign of bad behavior) and you have to constantly engage in behaviors that bring new women into your life.

Everything Out of a Woman’s Mouth is a Lie!

Everything out of a woman’s mouth is a lie…..especially when they want you to talk to them about something. There can be no resolution of problems because there is no transparency, no introspective honesty on their part. What they want, as far as this goes, is to be heard, not to communicate. The act of being heard by another is addictive to them. If you are a good listener and can clamp down on your own need to say stuff, you can manipulate how they see you, and, indirectly, how they treat you. Good treatment comes when a woman sees you as powerful, desirable and very much prone to being stolen by the competition. One thing that has zero effect on how they treat you is talking things out, and working through relationship issues. The reason is simple. While you may be sincere and motivated to have a deep meaningful relationship based on equality, trust and mutual caring, respect, warmth and love…..she NEVER is. She may pretend to but it is an exercise in pain, as she manipulates you into doing one inappropriate thing after another while constantly changing the rules at random. But, take one step outside that door, and see her behavior change instantly. Of course, eventually, she will boot your ass right out that very same door. But she was going to do that eventually, anyway.

Pook #6 – Lesson Three: Judge By Actions, Not By Words

You Cannot Change Women

There are three things you need if you want a lot of women to be attracted to you. The first is you need to be in shape. Not being fat is good but being muscular is better. The second thing you need is the right clothes. What are the right clothes? The clothes that women react positively to you in (as opposed to the clothes you want to be wearing). Want to learn more about the right clothes than you ever wanted to know? Go sign up for one of R Don Steele’s workshops on this. Be polite. Steele isn’t known for tolerating bad behavior….at all. The third thing you need is the right attitude. Whole books can and have been written about this. But, the crux of the issue is you must be completely assertive with a woman, have options and be willing to dump women who engage in bad behavior. Steele is a good source and I highly recommend his books.

However, that being said, you cannot change women, you cannot change women, you CANNOT change women. Your relationship is time limited. There is no way around that. You cannot make decisions about women that contradict that fact. If you do you most certainly will suffer. Your ability to enjoy that time with the woman is strictly dependent on how vigilant you are and how much power you cultivate in relationships. Once your power is gone, it’s gone, and you can’t get it back. If you allow a woman to stay when you have no power over her, she will destroy you (dump any woman you don’t have power over, immediately). How do you know you have no power over her? She feels free to engage in bad behavior. Now all women do this a little bit to test you. The difference is when you call her on it, she laughs in your face instead of stopping. Most men give up their power a few weeks into a relationship. Big mistake.

My point here is: don’t spend too much time worrying about theories with regard to women. Stay focussed on behaviors…..learning and refining what works from what doesn’t. There is a hell of a lot out there that sounds good but is worthless. Pull little bits and pieces and test them out. Keep what works and discard the rest.

No, no, No, NO, NO!!!

Quite obviously all women have become insane. It’s not that they eschew logic (actually, they are quite good at coming up with rationalizations). It’s that they spend the lion’s share of their efforts seeking out insane situations, engaging in insane behaviors and basically destroying themselves and anyone stupid enough to allow them the tiniest bit of say in their lives. The solution is equally obvious……don’t give them even the tiniest bit of say in your life. When I say tiniest, I mean it. No matter what they ask for, no matter how innocuous, you must say no to it. You must never ask them for anything, even the simplest, most smallest thing. If you want something from them you must tell them to give it to you. Although you say it nicely, it must be a command. The very second they say no to you, you need to dump them.

It’s sad to say, but that’s what it takes just to prevent a woman from ruining your life, which she will do 100% of the time if you don’t do this. A woman can and will move on, eventually to find someone who will let them ruin their life for them. Not enough men know about this yet, although many more know about it today than just a few short years ago. Eventually, most men will know it and women will have few to no options for this. They will have to change or do without. It will start with relationships first. Few to no men will get married each year and a great many men will seek wives from outside cultures. Next, these same men will look at women in the work place and ask, “Hey, do these female employees have merit?” You’ll find few women being promoted unless they can do the job. Last to change will be the courts, as more and more, it is discovered that MOST of the female issues in court are based on lies. Most rape cases….lies. Most alimony/child (mommy) support based on lies. It will become very common for courts to assume a woman is lying about certain issues…..especially with regard to non-stranger rape and almost everything with regard to divorce.

However, it all starts with one simple word…..no. No is the magic word that will protect you from women…..today. No, we won’t get married. No, you can’t move in with me. No, I don’t want to meet your parents. No, that kid isn’t mine. No, you can’t have any money. No, I just don’t want a monogamous relationship. No. No. No. No. NO.

The Number One Mistake Most Men Make with Women Is… Talking to Them!

I think you are making the number one mistake that most men make with women. You are talking to them. Trying to have an honest, equal, intelligent conversation with them is like me trying to explain to Pushkin that terrorists, Nazis, and Satan worshipers are bad people…..a fruitless endeavour. The problem is, they’re nuts and most of their mental power is focussed on rationalizing their nutty behavior. They will take every avenue to twist the truth in ways that are amazing to behold, and God forbid you should pin them down and dissect exactly what they are doing…..they hate you forever for it (and just keep on, keeping on). What’s the point?

Quite frankly, if you don’t want something from her (and let’s face it, that means pussy), then you shouldn’t be talking to her. If she shows no interest in giving you what you want in the near future, you should not be talking to her. Now, let’s say you want something from her and she is giving you major signals that she wants to give it to you. You need to talk to her. However, keep in mind two things. First, within reason, the less you talk the better. The more you listen to her, the more a brilliant conversationalist you seem (they are COMPLETELY self-centered and only one subject is a guaranteed hit…..themselves). The less you reveal about yourself the better. Women don’t love you, they love the fantasy of you and all that revealing just bursts their bubble. The second is anything you do say should be completely goal focussed. Think about this. You want something from her. The things you say to her should have the goal of opening the path to her giving it to you. If you are talking about something (rather than inane small talk) or explaining something, you have drifted away from your goal and are fucking up.

When talking to women, there are three things that should be coming out of your mouth. Inane small talk about something unimportant that you are both observing. Open ended questions about her. And various techniques for fostering attraction (for example, David D’Angelo has an excellent series on this). If one of these three things isn’t coming out of your mouth, you are probably explaining something or arguing. Although it’s satisfying to be heard by someone, it is fostering a negative image with her and every other woman observing you with her. You are driving the pussy off with a stick. Sad, but true.

The Problem with Discussing Things with Women

The problem with discussing things with women is their half of the debate is essentially made up on the spot with no basis in reality and subject to change instantly to either prove them right or to support a decision they’ve already made at random. That’s a big difference between men and women. Men use critical thinking to make decisions while women use critical thinking to rationalize decisions they’ve already made. If the decision they made worked, the rationalization tends to be of high quality. If the decision fails (usually, it does) then the quality of the rationalization is intentionally poor, to cover up specific things they did that caused the failure and to avoid taking responsibility and (gasp) change, at all costs. Obviously, you can’t work out things or negotiate with a person who does this and shouldn’t even try. A side effect is they will hate you if you manage to box them in a corner analytically and will disrespect you if you just give up. It’s a lose/lose situation, so why bother? The limit should be……Hey, I’m going out to “fill in the blank”, wanna come? No. Ok…..bye. The bad news is she made that decision at random. So, you can’t change her mind (well, sometimes you can, but it’s degrading and just not worth the effort). The good news is, ask enough women and one will randomly say yes.

This is a far cry from being normal. But it is what it is. Normal would be a woman only considering men she thought were attractive and then getting to know men from that pool until she found one that was compatible, then focussing her attention on that man until love started to develop. Then start a sexual relationship with that man. No woman does that.

Who Cares What Women Are Thinking?

Who cares what a woman may or may not be thinking inside? What matters is their behavior…..how predictable it is and most importantly, how you can (or cannot) get them to behave. You cannot get them to be honest, not cheat on you or respond positively to virtuous behavior. What you CAN do is get them to treat you nicely in the short term and severely limit the damage they can cause when they inevitably leave.

What’s going on with women is that they are freakin’ psychos. And being insane, it’s impossible to have a sane intimate relationship with them. You can either be forced to have an insane intimate relationship with them or you can have a sane relationship where you keep your distance.

Sad to say but relationships with women in this country are about power, not love. If you give up the former in pursuit of the latter, you will suffer.

However, I agree that one should never blame women for the way they are. Judgement is the first step toward acceptance of responsibility, then forgiveness and redemption. Women just aren’t capable of participating in that. Although men are and always should when necessary.

What Matters is the Amount of Power and Choice You Have in a Relationship

You know, if women really were only looking for a good provider, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. I mean, in most cultures it seems that part of what men are expected to provide is security for their wife and family.

The problem comes from the fact that most american woman are stuck in such a negative vibe. They don’t want a nice home, financial security and the best for themselves and their children. What they want is to exploit a man for cash while they screw around with drug dealers. They don’t respect themselves and they certainly don’t respect the provider…….which is why men avoid marriage.

I guess what I am saying is the problem is NOT a misunderstanding of the roles between men and women, miscommunications, needs not being met, whatever (despite what tons of closet homos, like Dr Phil would have you believe). The problem is the quality of the character of the average woman is very, very low.

One, you have no control over that. They will NEVER change, no matter what you do, unless they decide on their own to change for their own reasons (realistically, that just doesn’t happen). The only thing you can do is switch women constantly, making sure each new woman has a character that is better and better. But, since noble character is soooooo rare, it is the quality that gives a woman the most status. In other words, a good woman can demand any type of partner she chooses and get it. Unless you have worked your way up the status ladder, she has no reason to give you the time of day. Much less so than say, a penthouse pet would or an rich heiress like Paris Hilton would.

But two, you have to make damn sure you have the lions share of the power in any relationships you have. Why? Because you will have to constantly control negative behavior from those you are involved with. If you can’t or won’t, it will rapidly escalate into severe abuse. If you allow it to become very advanced, it will result in a marriage, plus kids, and then divorce, personal ruin and despair.

It’s sad to say but you cannot solve this problem by being sane, loving, and nurturing in a relationship. Although that is nice, it is irrelevant. What matters is the amount of power and choice you have. Both niceguys and evil men are harmed by women when they haven’t cultivated power in relationships. And both niceguys and evil men can have success with women, but only if they cultivate power and choice instead of love with women. The difference is the niceguy does it in a positive way. He says says no to all requests and refuses monogamous relationships. Although he cares about women, he is completely detached. The evil man, slaps a woman down when she “gets out of line” and laughs in her face whenever she expresses a desire or need. Everything out of his mouth is a lie or a putdown.

What is horrible is women cannot tell the difference between benevolent detachment and callous indifference. They are both equally attractive to them.

But two, you have to make damn sure you have the lions share of the power in any relationships you have. Why? Because you will have to constantly control negative behavior from those you are involved with. If you can’t or won’t, it will rapidly escalate into severe abuse. If you allow it to become very advanced, it will result in a marriage, plus kids, and then divorce, personal ruin and despair.

It’s sad to say but you cannot solve this problem by being sane, loving, and nurturing in a relationship. Although that is nice, it is irrelevant. What matters is the amount of power and choice you have. Both niceguys and evil men are harmed by women when they haven’t cultivated power in relationships. And both niceguys and evil men can have success with women, but only if they cultivate power and choice instead of love with women. The difference is the niceguy does it in a positive way. He says says no to all requests and refuses monogamous relationships. Although he cares about women, he is completely detached. The evil man, slaps a woman down when she “gets out of line” and laughs in her face whenever she expresses a desire or need. Everything out of his mouth is a lie or a putdown.

What is horrible is women cannot tell the difference between benevolent detachment and callous indifference. They are both equally attractive to them.

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